What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

From an early age, I had two major goals in life. I worked on those goals during the majority of my adult years, investing time, money, and a lot of effort in the hopes of achieving them. Despite all that effort, neither goal came to pass. To say I was--and still am--disappointed is an understatement.

I'm a Type A person who loves to be busy and to produce. At a time I expected to find myself working hard on the other side of my met goals, I instead found myself with very little to do. Getting forced to stay inside a house in a rural region during a pandemic didn't help. So I did what I could do. I started a large crochet project. I learned how to make and can strawberry and peach jam (I tried blueberry, but it kept coming out more like candy than jam.)

Though I don't play the piano, I memorized a couple of songs that could be useful in church, since we lost our high-risk pianist to concerns over COVID. I made a few masks for people at church. I cut out pieces for a purse that I've yet to put together because sewing construction is hard. I started a new crochet project after completing the previous one and read until my wonky vision made both impossible to do (one cataract surgery down, one to go, so please pardon any typos I made.)

I watched TV, started listening to podcasts, took bike rides and walks. My husband bought a big garden box for me and I planted vegetables in it. Now, I've turned my attention to learning how to make small quilts. I do anything I can to produce, because I can't stand feeling useless.

Some may call that being busy. While it is, it's busy work, filler, with some ministerial applications, since I did some of it for others. None of it is what I feel I was meant or called to do.

God places His people on this earth for a purpose--to minister to the Body of Christ around the world, to do good works that will glorify His name, to teach others about Him and more. What my purpose is, I don't know yet. Maybe the busy work is it. Perhaps, like a quilt or that purse I've yet to pin together to sew, I'm gathering all the pieces and tools I'll need for whatever it is I'm supposed to do. In the meantime, I'll keep learning and doing stuff.

My First (of) December Post, Complete with Baby Yoda Meme

We had a nice Thanksgiving, if not a scenic one. We traveled to a resort located in the mountains of Virginia with old friends we've known since our husbands' Air Force days. A destination we should have thought through. No one wanted to golf, snow tube, ski, or visit the waterpark, and with cold temps and high winds, we weren't able to get out and do the outdoor stuff we love. A cabin with a view might have been a more suitable choice.

But it's the company that counts, and the company is always enjoyable. We sat inside the living room of what seemed more like a small apartment and enjoyed a quick-start gas fire, worked on a jigsaw puzzle, watched Jumanji 2 and The Mandalorian, and—like Baby Yoda—we ate.

 

Overall, a good time.

We're home now and suddenly it's December. There's just thirty-one days until 2020. This year went by shockingly fast. This past January 1st, I set out with specific goals, the majority of which I’ve accomplished. So much of what I did was with the intent of staying in the moment to enjoy each day, because time was flying by too quickly. Somehow, time flew by even faster.

I have no idea what’s ahead for 2020, besides VBS and Christmas, the two events that serve as time buoys, so to speak, and which arrive before I know it. It’s time to set new goals—bucket list stuff—and complete goals I started this year, which I knew would overlap into 2020. I love to learn and to grow, both as a pastor's wife and as a person. I have a month to think about what I want to do in the coming year. Besides paying $6.99 a month to watch Baby Yoda, that is. Because like VBS and Christmas, that's a given.

Quick Update

It's been years since eastern North Carolina has seen a snow flurry, but we've made up for it in the past two weeks with two winter events. Heavy snows blanketed the landscape, vastly improving the coastal plain view.

Copyright 2014 Kimberli Buffaloe

Copyright 2014 Kimberli Buffaloe

Here's a pic of the sky the night before the first storm moved in.

Copyright 2014 Kimberli Buffaloe

But ice is on the way. 

In addition to taking pics, I've been revamping a novel that I wrote in 2006 and promptly set aside. Some things do indeed improve with age. Knowledge and writing skills to name a few. I'm glad I put off cleaning the first draft until both improved. The rewrite is going well, and I hope to finish in a few days.

Spring

Spring is at peak, and our yard is finally in bloom. In the front:

Azaleas, which are found in nearly every yard in eastern NC. The plumes of red, white, and pink are a beautiful sight.

Daffodils usually bloom along roadsides in March. We had a hundred bulbs in the garage, which I failed to plant last fall. A few were growing in the bag, giving rise to the adage "Bloom where you are planted" and my husband stuck several in the ground. This is one of the flowers that showed its appreciation.

Indigo, which survived after getting run over with a lawnmower last year. Needless to say, we didn't ask the man to mow in our absence again.

And in the back yard, more azaleas...

Lilac

Columbines

The lavender, camellias, and fruit trees are past bloom and doing well. I love spring.

Mr Blue Sky

A canopy of blue stretches across the sky, tacked in placed along the horizon by tall pines. After back-to-back winter events, fields and rooftops are thawing, and you can almost hear ELO's Mr. Blue Sky being sung in the streets.

It's hard to imagine that beneath the frozen soil, delicate seeds lie in wait for an unseen signal. When it's sensed, bloodroot and Trout lilies will emerge, followed by violets and then a host of wildflowers that decorate roadsides and paths through the woods.

So when it's time to shed the jacket and rush outside to bask in the warmth of a spring sun, don't forget to look down and around you. No offense to Mr. Blue Sky, but a profusion of reds, pinks, purples and yellows can also brighten the world, and your spirits.

Beginning at the End

Christmas is over, and as every other Facebook status in my newsfeed points out, the new year is fast approaching. We had an interesting end to the year when six or more inches of snow blanketed eastern North Carolina the day after Christmas. I snapped this photo the day after the snow fell.

Days later, white mounds of fluff rest on tree boughs and across fields. Inside our house, Christmas decorations are packed and the living room is as bright and clean as the sparkling white plains. Another reminder that a new year is upon us. Another turn around the sun. Another set of seasons, familiar, yet new.

After several tough years, by God's grace--for I did nothing, but more on that later--2011 starts with opportunities. My goal of Writing Carolina begins with a short story soon to be released on Christian Fiction Online Magazine. Set atop Cold Mountain, fitting for a January release, the story is a modified excerpt from a novel I've yet to write. I'm also working on a proposal for a Lowcountry story, which requires research into Charlestons history. I've gained knowledge from both experiences, and hope others will as well.

Whatever your circumstances, I pray 2011 will be a year of peace. Seem impossible? As a friend of Jesus wrote nearly two thousand years ago, Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Happy New Year, and God bless.