What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

From an early age, I had two major goals in life. I worked on those goals during the majority of my adult years, investing time, money, and a lot of effort in the hopes of achieving them. Despite all that effort, neither goal came to pass. To say I was--and still am--disappointed is an understatement.

I'm a Type A person who loves to be busy and to produce. At a time I expected to find myself working hard on the other side of my met goals, I instead found myself with very little to do. Getting forced to stay inside a house in a rural region during a pandemic didn't help. So I did what I could do. I started a large crochet project. I learned how to make and can strawberry and peach jam (I tried blueberry, but it kept coming out more like candy than jam.)

Though I don't play the piano, I memorized a couple of songs that could be useful in church, since we lost our high-risk pianist to concerns over COVID. I made a few masks for people at church. I cut out pieces for a purse that I've yet to put together because sewing construction is hard. I started a new crochet project after completing the previous one and read until my wonky vision made both impossible to do (one cataract surgery down, one to go, so please pardon any typos I made.)

I watched TV, started listening to podcasts, took bike rides and walks. My husband bought a big garden box for me and I planted vegetables in it. Now, I've turned my attention to learning how to make small quilts. I do anything I can to produce, because I can't stand feeling useless.

Some may call that being busy. While it is, it's busy work, filler, with some ministerial applications, since I did some of it for others. None of it is what I feel I was meant or called to do.

God places His people on this earth for a purpose--to minister to the Body of Christ around the world, to do good works that will glorify His name, to teach others about Him and more. What my purpose is, I don't know yet. Maybe the busy work is it. Perhaps, like a quilt or that purse I've yet to pin together to sew, I'm gathering all the pieces and tools I'll need for whatever it is I'm supposed to do. In the meantime, I'll keep learning and doing stuff.

Update on 2019 Goal: J'apprende le Français

Today is the 198th day of 2019. It's also 200 days into my study of the French language. My primary resource has been Duolingo, which is amazing once you find all the helps and resources on the app and on the website. I also listen to a French language CD during my drive to and from work, and do my best to read French short stories and tweets from Le Musée de Louvre. What I can't understand, I look up or extract from context.

It's been fun. I'm enjoying my studies and plan to continue learning French for at least the next year and a half. I hope you're still working on your 2019 goals as well.

From One Flat to Six

If you read my A One Flat Life post, you'll know I decided it was time to stop living the easy life of the rural hermit I had become after moving to a rural region, and allow myself to tackle a few more difficult tasks, like playing more difficult songs on my flute and going out and talking to people (we all know the former can be far easier than the latter.) I preferred to play songs with one flat because it was easier, but it limited the songs I could play. I preferred being a hermit because, well, people.

Remember the old saying, "be careful what you ask for?" Our pianists asked me to accompany her and the choir on two songs for Easter. One is easy-peezy. I just need to know where to jump in. The other? It has two key changes, and one of those keys has six flats.

Six. Flats. I didn't even know what one note was and had to ask (FYI, a G flat is the same as an F sharp.)

It's a beautiful song though. I found the version we're playing on Youtube.

The non-hermiting aspect is going well. Much easier since I cut back on social media. We don't all need to be in each other's face every day. In fact, I've lost respect for a lot of people after seeing an ugly side of them I would have rather not seen.We have inhibitions and filters for a reason. We need to start using them again.

A Quick Update and Disney's Flight of Passage.

2019 is already down two months? How?? Several of us have been discussing the rapid (and frighteningly fast) passage of time. Don't take a moment for granted. It's gone in a heartbeat.

The busyness of our lives contributes to the perception of disappearing time. At this empty-nesting stage of my life, I'm not nearly as busy as younger parents are, but I stay busy enough. So how am I doing on my 2019 goals?

• I was consistent with my flute practice until a week or so ago, but I had a reason for the lapse. More on that in a minute.
  
• I study French on a daily basis. So much so, my husband is beginning to pick up a bit just from listening in. I've completed ten chapters in my Basic French book along with two reviews, and I'm working through the fifth level of the second set of subjects in Duolingo. One must complete a total of 60 lessons within each subject, so when I complete this second set, I'll have completed a total of 600 lessons on the app. This doesn't include all the reviews I had to take to "earn health" (if you make six mistakes, you either have to wait a few hours until one unit refills, refill your health with earned credits, or take a review to earn one unit.) J'étudie beaucoup (I study a lot.)

So what happened with the flute? We've been babysitting our daughter's very large dogs while she and her family relocated across country and got settled. The time finally came take them home. We picked a time near our grandson's tenth birthday and drove them to Florida.

My daughter decided to celebrate my grandson's birthday at Disney's Animal Kingdom. I'm not fond of large crowds and am prone to motion sickness. Consequently, I am not an amusement park person--I spent far too much time at Six Flags over Texas during my girls' childhood and teen years. but I love my grandson. So hi ho, hi ho, it was off to Disney I...went.

My daughter saved the best ride for last. If you're familiar with Animal Kingdom, you know this means the Avatar- (the movie) -based "Flight of Passage" ride. The line was horrid (a 2 1/2 hour wait. Every muscle in my legs and back hurt by the time we reached the ride) but the detailed graphics of a simulator that makes you feel as if you're really swooping through a valley on Pandora are incredible. I can't wait to see how Disney applies this technology to other attractions. I would love to feel as if I'm on the Moon. It's a must-see, but go with someone who can get a Fast Pass, otherwise, dehydrate yourself and plan to stand in close quarters with hundreds of others for a few hours.

Oh, and take Dramamine if rides make you sick. As I said, the simulator really makes you feel as if you're swooping through a valley.

This brings me to my goal of decluttering. With the dogs and their kennels, toys, and beds back with their people, I once again had access to our front room (formerly the dining room.) That room has been cleaned. I gave my daughter two of the four sets of crystal goblets my father-in-law gave us a few years back. My in laws purchased them while living in Europe, but never used them before my mother-in-law died. We use them, but the two of us didn't need forty-eight goblets. That cleared some cabinet space and a box in the attic. I still have to tackle the rest of the attic, and I'm not looking forward to that.

I read a few nonfiction historical books as well, but I'll discuss that later.

That's it for February. March brings us longer days and spring. Take time to enjoy the beauty that's about to surround us.

Je Parle Français? I'm Getting There

As I mentioned in an earlier post, one of my goals for 2019 is to learn the French language. For six weeks now, I've put in a lot of time each day (J'étudie beaucoup--I study a lot) using the four resources I mentioned in my The Thing About Learning Languages post. These sources compliment one another nicely, and I've learned much since the beginning of the year.

So, can I parle français yet? Un peu (a little) but I'm still in the early stages of learning. I've picked up words, sounds, and phrases, memorized and conjugated a few verbs, and am learning the gender of various words, but I don't yet know enough to make good use of them. However, I have learned a few simple sentences, such as:

Je suis une femme américaine (I'm an American woman.)
J'ai deux filles et trois petit-fils (I have two daughters and three grandsons.)
J'ai un chien et deux chats (I have a dog and two cats.)
Je vais a l'hôtel (I am going to the hotel. I'm not, but I know how to say it.)

And so on. However, at this early stage, I'm reading the language better than I'm speaking it. Far better than I'm thinking in French. It will take some time for that to happen.

It's a slow process. Various articles (de, du, aux, au) and a seemingly lack of pattern when it comes to word gender continue to trip me up, but I'll get it eventually. I just need to apprends more. Especially since I had to look up that word in order to use it.

Each day is a new opportunity to learn, and I intend to take advantage of that.

The Great Declutter of 2019

Decluttering my house is one of my many goals for 2019. Visitors wouldn't call our home cluttered, but living there, I see and feel it in various places around the house and in the attic. It was time for it to go. Here's what we tackled so far:

The Spare Bedroom: Between the ministry and jobs, we live far from our children and other family members. Since our girls have kids and live in areas with far more interesting things to do, we tend to visit them. Consequently, our spare bedroom is rarely used. Shortly after moving in, we began storing items in there for convenience. Eventually, it began to look more like a storage unit than a room.

That room was the first thing we tackled. In God's providence, the church where I work decided to have a rummage sale, so we picked out items we didn't intend to keep any longer, donated them to the church, and properly stored the rest. Then we dusted, cleaned the carpet, and rearranged the furniture into a more sensible layout (an older member of the family was the first to stay there and he wanted the full-size bed beside the door. Right beside it. Other visitors felt awkward being that close to the door.) The spare bedroom now looks like a cozy room.

Magazines: My father-in-law knows we love reading and the outdoors, so he graciously signed us up for several magazines that help us enjoy both activities. He also wants us to move back to Texas, so he included publications intended to lure us back to the Lone Star State. My husband also signed me up for several magazines including Catster, Southern Living, and Birds and Blooms. Those in addition to his magazines.

For some reason, we began receiving others as well. Subscriptions neither we nor my father-in-law ordered. Bills were sent, of course, but as solicitations. Soon, we were overwhelmed with magazines and the smell of ink. I can't even guess how many trees died for the cause.

First, we canceled numerous subscriptions. When I found out magazines in good shape would be sold at the aforementioned rummage sale, we began sorting through them. The best we took to the church. The rest were tossed out. They're now in a better place, and we're a lot happier.

Drawers: Do you have a junk drawer? I have three--one in our kitchen and two in my dresser. My dresser junk drawers were filled with work and veterinary information, drawings from children, cards, and memories from the past. I tossed out what needed to be tossed, then stored items I wanted to keep but didn't need immediate access to.

Accounts: I once belonged to and was involved in American Christian Fiction Writers. I had email accounts set up for membership and for the Genesis account (an anonymous account I kept for corresponding with authors after the close of the contest.)

I never got around to deleting them. This week, I deleted both along with a few social media accounts I no longer cared to use.

Next on my list is my yarn and my attic. I'm a knitter, and like most knitters, I have a yarn stash. Mine is small compared to others, but it's large enough to force me into storing skeins and hanks in various bins and tote bags in my room. I'm going to sort through it all, donate some yarn I know by now I'll never use, toss out the small balls of leftover yarn I've been keeping "just in case I need them," and focus on using the rest this year.

 And the attic...I don't even want to think about it, but it's part of this year's goal, so at some point, I'll tackle it.

The Thing About Learning Languages

As I mentioned in my 2019 Goals post, I decided now was the time to start learning the French language. It's been a goal of mine since I took French I and II in High School, and I didn't want to put it off any longer.

To that end, I'm using four helpful resources. The first is the Duolingo language app. Duolingo has improved their app over the years, and it now offers five levels per subject instead of one, each more challenging than the last. The app had me paying attention to verb conjugation and the gender of nouns and their accompanying articles before I caught on it was doing so.

I needed more written experience though, along with something that offered a more systematic approach to learning, so I ordered the Practice Makes Perfect: Basic French Second Edition workbook published by McGraw-Hill Education. After reading recommendations by AP teachers in the reviews, I was concerned the material may be above my current level of knowledge, but I purchased it anyway knowing I would use it eventually.

As it turns out, it fit my needs perfectly. Each chapter is short and introduces new material in a clear, concise manner. Enough to learn, but not so much as to overwhelm. The accompanying Language Lab app that I downloaded on my phone provides flashcards for each chapter along with audio exercises and reviews.

Which leads me to one issue. When it comes to language, the spoken language has always come first. It existed long before someone decided it was time to record observations and history on some type of permanent medium, whether it be pictures or the lines we call letters. Children learn the spoken language before they learn to read. When the time does comes for them to learn the written form of language, they do so through word and letter recognition already knowing how words are pronounced, and with phonics--that is, associating the sound of the letter with what they see.

When one learns a language later in life, one often does it backwards. We start by learning the written word in a textbook with an instructor explaining language elements to us in our own language. This can lead to mispronunciations, especially when one is self-teaching. While I do have audio lessons at my disposal with the help of the two apps I'm using, I'm reading more than I'm listening. Consequently, I don't have a clue how to properly pronounce many words, especially those that contain one of the three different accent marks in the French language. I guess until I happen on it during an audio exercise. 

One cause of this is the fact that neither of my main resources have taught me the French alphabet. Learning the alphabet is crucial because the sound of the letter is included in its name. Granted, there are exceptions, but if I want to pronounce these words properly, I need to stop what I'm doing and learn the French alphabet.

That's my first goal for the month of February. After that, I'll begin the next group of chapters in Duolingo and in my workbook.

Update on 2019 Goals

I realize we're only halfway through the month, but this is the point where many of the well intended begin to waver in their yearly resolutions. So how am I doing? Here's an update on goals I mentioned in my 2019 Goals post and a few I omitted in that post.

The flute. As I mentioned in my 2019 Goals post, I slacked off on practicing my flute. Since picking it up on New Year's Day, my tone has significantly improved, as has my ability to sight-read music. I still mix up the E and F notes on occasion, but it's getting better.

As I mentioned in my One-Flat Life post, after initially learning how to play the flute a few years back, I began to avoid notes and keys I found difficult. Instead of avoiding those, I now focus on them while practicing scales and flute exercises.

Learn French. A few years ago, I downloaded the Duolingo app to my phone and began practicing French. When it comes to languages, I'm accustomed to a systematic form of learning, so the seemingly random aspect of Duolingo was, for me, confusing. I eventually abandoned the app in the hopes of finding a class.

However, months and even a year later, I could still recall much of the material covered, so I downloaded the app again. Duolingo has upgraded since that time. While the information  presented still seems random to me, they've improved the system and now provide levels for each section, insuring the student is more proficient in that subject before moving on.

I still need some systematic study, so I purchased a workbook online and am working on verb conjugation.

I intend to practice both flute and French daily, even for a few minutes. In order to learn, my efforts must become a daily habit.

Clean as I go is working out well. My husband has been infected by the bug too, and we're accomplishing more around the house.

Two goals I didn't mention in my 2019 Goals post is my and my husband's intention to read through the bulk of the scripture again this year. Using a plan available through my Olive Tree app, we're almost finished with Genesis. That said, we feel it has taken too long to get through that book, so there will be days that we'll double up on reading, particularly with long books.

My last goal for 2019 is to cook decent meals. To this end, I purchased an Instant Pot. Read my post on that device to see how it's turning this bad cook into a kitchen ninja.

That's it for now. From this point on, I'll post monthly updates. I hope you're able to stick with your goals as well.

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2019 Goals

My writing took yet another hard hit last year, crumbling what was left of my aspirations. It was time to let it go for good. If something tried to pull me back into the industry as has been the case over the past decade, I would simply have to convey my apologies and move on. I need more direction from the Lord on that front before I try again.

Over the past fourteen years, I spent a great deal of time each week writing, revising, editing, critiquing, and publishing books. With that suddenly gone from my life, I found I had a lot of time on my hands. I usually don't make New Year's Resolutions, but I decided to make a few for 2019.

1. Practice the flute every day. I'd formed a habit of playing for a few days and then setting my flute aside for months at a time. Consequently, I was never ready to play when asked, and I sounded horrible when I picked up the flute on December 31st and tried to play a song. A week later, my tone is returning, as is my ability to quickly read music. I even reached that elusive Eb in the upper register. Once.


2.  Learn to speak French. I had two semesters of the language in high school. While I could, surprisingly, sometimes understand bits of conversations I overheard that were spoken in French, I've forgotten much of what I'd learned in my classes. Living in Texas, I chose Spanish for my college language requirement, and I used that skill on occasion while working at an international telecom in Dallas. But I've always wanted to go back and learn French well enough to read and converse in that language. I'm a week into my studies. I'm constantly confusing masculine and feminine forms, but I'm making progress.


3. Clean As I Go. No one who knows me would call me lazy. Quite the opposite. It's true I'm a hard worker and a self starter, but I also know myself and know I do indeed have a lazy side. It emerges more at home than it does at work. Too often after work, I'll walk past a pile of something or a task that needs completing, and plop on the couch. I spent my adult life cleaning up for and after my family, and at some point in the past decade, I decided I'd had enough. While I no longer need to throw myself into house cleaning as I once did, I do need to be more proactive at home. 

There they are, my goals for 2019. They're measurable, predominantly practical and most important, attainable. After a decade of chasing my dreams, much as I chased snow geese here in eastern North Carolina with similar results, attainable is what I need at this point in time.