I'm discouraged. I know, it's part of the writer's life and I accept that, but every now and then, we writers just need to sit and let the ink run.
I've been working on my Carolina blog for three years. I spend a lot of time researching and writing articles for it. It's fun, and I enjoy it, but--to be honest here--I want my work to be wanted. Although a Carolina television station once featured it on their morning news show, my numbers remain modest.
Then, yesterday, in a fit of laziness, I posted numerous photos of a North Carolina destination with very little text and phoom! Over a hundred and thirty hits in less than an hour, from over fourteen countries.
And that doesn't even cover my novel writing. On that front, I sent the first few chapters of a recent project to the instructor of a workshop I'm about to attend. She commented back saying, basically, I'm getting there, and she'll be happy to help.
That thing went through my critique group twice.
I often hear, "You write so well!" and "I know you'll be published". One author told me "I think you may have something here" and a crit by a well-known writers' organization encouraged me with "(Your work) is smooth, polished. If you're not published, you should be looking for an agent". Then contest judges ripped apart my entries.
I've often heard published authors say they didn't want to write, but God wouldn't let them go until they did. I wish people wouldn't say things like that around me. That and, "So-and-So read my work and they're helping me out." Or, "[Name of kind person] is taking me under their wing."
Or, "My (first) book was accepted by (the first) publisher I queried!"
I'm happy for you people, really.
Alas, after five years, I wonder what's to become of my novels. But I serve a sovereign God, and know His will will happen in His time. Things haven't turned out well in the past when I fought for something I wanted, and through those mistakes, I've learned to trust my Heavenly Father.
But one must have a purpose, a motivation to edge them toward the goal. How far can the entertainment value in writing carry me?
Sighs.
That's it. That's my discouragement discourse for now. The ink is drying, and it's time to get caught up on a few tasks. After that, I'll finish a chapter of my latest work. After all, I can't leave a bunch of characters hanging around in storyworld waiting to learn their fates. Heh, I know all to well how that feels.